


Behind a Door // Levi Ackerman

by 90slevi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anger, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Tension, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Childhood Sweethearts, Childhood Trauma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Romance, F/M, Flirting, Frustration, Hange Zoë & Levi Are Best Friends, Hurt/Comfort, Kenny Ackerman Being an Asshole, Levi is Bad At Feelings (Shingeki no Kyojin), Levi is Whipped (Shingeki no Kyojin), Made For Each Other, Minor Character Death, Protective Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Romantic Face Punching, Sad Backstory, Sad with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Trapped
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:34:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28758168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/90slevi/pseuds/90slevi
Summary: "For almost fifteen years, I thought you'd just abandoned me. Just like everyone else, Levi, I thought you'd given up on me.""If I wasn't kicked out onto the fucking streets by that man, Y/n, you know I'd never have given up on you."---Ever since Y/n could remember, she was locked away in her bedroom by Kenny Ackerman, only allowed out when nobody was there to see her.The only person keeping her sane was the voice of Levi, a boy also taken in by Kenny but forbidden to see the girl.So, the two spoke with her bedroom door separating them, unsure what either looked and only knowing the ins and outs of their voice.That was until Levi left one day, leaving her to question everything and wondering why he'd abandoned her.And her questions are answered fifteen years later, when she's forced to fight him in the Reiss' Chapel as part of the Anti-Personnel Control Squad, and she may be in for more than she'd bargained for.Because she never expected to fall for him.And he never expected to fall for her.
Relationships: Kenny Ackerman & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader
Comments: 11
Kudos: 67





	1. - behind the door

It sucked to lose a friend. Especially when that friend was the only one you'd ever had.

Every day, you sat there on your knees, staring at the cracked yet somehow fully-intact door that kept you closed off from the outside world as your fists clenched the thin material of your way-too-large t-shirt (handed down from god-knows-who).

All you needed to do was unpick the lock and twist the door open to be exposed to freedom, but a small, thin thread connecting you to your captor stopped you from leaving. Perhaps deep down you didn't want to. Perhaps you'd developed Stockholm Syndrome, something your twelve-year-old mind couldn't comprehend yet, but either way, you were stuck. Behind a single door, because Kenny Ackerman wouldn't let you leave. 

Ever since birth, you'd been locked in that house, spending 90% of your time in a small room with only a bed, a few books you'd read over a thousand times, and a pad of paper to draw on. Weights and other work-out equipment sat in another corner, mostly going unused at they bored you now, and sketches littered the walls to form a large canvas of doodles. Yet... you spent hours just sitting with your back against the door, humming strange tunes to yourself while you waited for that one, peculiar boy you were yet to meet. 

Levi.

He was two years older than you, he had black hair and he was strong. That was all you knew about him, and you only knew that because he'd told you. He was another one of Kenny's students, having been found in poor conditions and taken in to be trained and sort of... looked after? Raised? You'd never really asked him.

For some reason, Kenny favoured him, and although you'd only realised this when you were nine, it wasn't like you were bothered or jealous. Why would there be? Levi was your only friend, after all, and you didn't want to lose him by making him feel guilty.

Whenever Levi wasn't training, he'd sit on the other side of the door and talk about how his day had gone. It was obvious the boy wasn't good at socialising, even though he was surrounded by more people than you were, but you didn't mind. His sharp tone and occasional rude remarks didn't bother you in the slightest; in fact, you were always happy to hear them, and your chats could go on from five minutes to five hours. In reality, he stopped you from going insane, and you adored him for that.

The two of you had never met face-to-face, being blocked by a thin barrier of wood that one of you could easily destroy, but you couldn't. Kenny had threatened hundreds of times that if the door was opened, you'd either be killed or left on the streets to die. He didn't want Levi having a distraction, and quite frankly, Kenny didn't exactly want a daughter, but here he was, stuck with you. 

Kenny's face was the only one you knew. His slim face with hollow cheeks and high cheekbones was engraved into your head, with a small black stubble covering his chin and long black hair that never seemed to go grey, no matter how old he was. He was also a tall, lanky man, always giving you a sense of inferiority even as you grew taller (although, you never ended up being anywhere near his height). Even when you were eventually introduced to a blonde-haired woman when you were ten, he was the only face you could ever remember every detail of. 

He was cruel with you, waiting until precisely six in the evening to come and train you, and the training would last for hours and hours, occasionally leaving you passed out on the floor at five in the morning. Kenny could let you out the room as long as Levi wasn't there, so you'd be taught ways to sneak up on people and how to murder or steal with ease. It wasn't really fun, so you didn't look forward to anything unless it was Levi.

"And I got blood on my shirt. Again," Levi complained, thumping the door with his hand as he remembered the details of what'd happened that day. You sat with a smile, giggling at his frustrations and wondering what to say once he'd finished. "I had to burn it in fear of Kenny seeing it. He'd murder me if he saw that I'd made a stupid mistake like that."

"Sounds tough," you replied, and you heard the boy scoff from the other side.

"Yeah, the old guy wouldn't shut up so I had to kill him, but I didn't realise there were a shit ton of his friends around the corner," Levi sighed, and you grimaced, glad he'd got out of there alive. If it were you, you'd definitely have come back with more injuries than he'd sustained. From the sound of things, he'd managed to come back with only a few cuts and bruises. "So I ran off. They don't know who I am, and as if they could beat me. I'd have them dead on the floor before they could even say my name."

"You're so cool, Levi," you chuckled, eyes wide in admiration. "You can get away with anything!"

It was true. Kenny didn't know about yours and Levi's interactions until you'd been caught aged eight (he was ten), and although you'd both been punished, you were glad he was still able to slip past and get away with talking to you. You would've probably gone mad by now if it wasn't for him. 

"Well, not every time," Levi replied, and you cocked your head. 

"Really?" you asked, surprised he'd been caught. Despite him only being fifteen, he was somewhat of an idol for you. You wanted to be just like him, and you prayed every night that one day, Kenny would let you see him and train alongside him. It sounded fun in your head, even though Levi could and would beat the shit out of you. "When did you not?"

"Don't you remember the time I got stabbed in the leg by that scumbag at the market three years ago?" he asked, and your mouth turned into a wide 'O'. "Yeah. I made sure he paid though."

"Mhm," you remembered, taking note of how anguished he felt explaining it all to you. After years of being behind a door, you could pinpoint emotions in people's voices like picking colours apart, and you could even tell when Levi was lying from the tonal shift. Plus, he wasn't exactly the greatest at lying. Yet. "I was really worried about you, y'know. Kenny told me you'd had to get stitches done!"

"Meh, stitches aren't that bad," Levi admitted, and you pouted. You'd had stitches before, and they weren't the best thing in the world. Either he was lying again, or he had a better pain-tolerance than you did. "And you know Kenny exaggerates things. Don't trust anything he says unless I agree."

"Got it," you giggled, and you heard a small exhale of amusement come from his side. "He once tried to tell me that he owed this gang a lot of money and was planning to sell me, but I could tell he was lying from that glint in his eyes."

"Pfft, if Kenny had a problem with someone, he'd kill them," Levi answered, and you nodded, knowing that but not wanting to interrupt. Even if he told you the same story ten times, you wouldn't mind. You just liked hearing his voice. "Kenny doesn't need money. He'll either steal or kill to get what he wants."

"Admirable," you said sarcastically, and that was when you heard Levi suddenly scuffle to his feet.

"Ah, sorry Y/n, I've gotta go," the boy said quickly, and your eyes saddened. It'd only been an hour at most, and you didn't want him to leave. But, at the same time, you didn't want him to get in trouble either, so you quickly said your goodbyes.

"Okay, I'll speak to you tomorrow, yeah?" you asked, hopefulness in your tone. Levi had come to your door every day in the past eight years except twice; one of those was when he was sick, and the second being when Kenny didn't give you a chance to. 

"Of course," Levi answered, his voice and footsteps growing distant as he rushed off, presumably running from whoever it was coming up the corridor. "Bye, Y/n!"

A smile sat on your face as you stood up and stretched, your butt going numb from sitting down so long. Groaning quietly, you flopped down onto your bed, face down in your pillow as you grumbled quietly to yourself. Despite never admitting it, you hated your position. You hated being trapped inside a small room all the time and only being able to speak to your best friend through a door. You hated constantly being tormented by Kenny, even when he wasn't there in person. 

But at least you had Levi, right?

Yeah... that was the last time you'd ever spoken to him.


	2. - we meet again

Staring up at the sky with the same spark in your eyes you'd had for years now, you cleaned out the barrel of your gun, making sure it would blow up in your face or back-fire. Surrounding you were the rest of the Anti-Personnel Control Squad, most of who you'd never spoken to or simply didn't pay attention to. For years, the only few people you'd spoken to were Kenny himself and a blonde woman named Traute Caven, whom you'd gotten pretty close to. Still, your energy was always the same, and you were always willing to complete Kenny's missions for him. 

Now, you were in your adult years. It'd been over ten years since Kenny let you roam freely, and for once, he asked you especially to come help with this 'new mission' they were on. Of course, you had no idea what was going on, mainly because you rarely asked questions and dozed off into your own little world during explanations, but whatever he ordered, you did. Mainly because you were afraid of him and took some sort of value in your own life. 

Now, you were sat outside a strange, brown chapel, the sky turning into an inky black with silver dots scattered throughout, staring down at you. Constantly, you wondered if you were doing the right thing, but you didn't really care. Anything was better than being locked away in a room, and on multiple occasions, Kenny had threatened to send you back. 

What a dick. 

"Y/n," a voice from behind said, and you turned your head, looking up to see Traute standing there with her usual, emotionless eyes. You pitied her, wondering what'd happened to her in the past to be so... empty. "We were wondering where you'd gone."

"Heh, sorry," you answered, a hint of pink appearing in your cheeks as you bounced up onto your feet, slipping your gun back into its respectable casing. "I got a bit carried away."

"Yeah, you sure did," Traute said sarcastically, stuffing her hands into her pockets as she wandered back into the chapel. "We need to be on guard."

"I know, I know," you sighed with a pout, following her through the rather crooked door and into the chapel. 

Never in your life had you imagined a place so magical. Underneath the regular-looking building was a huge cave, sharp blue pillars holding it up while a large, sacrificial stand sat near the back. A boy, about sixteen, with a mop of brown hair and hazel eyes, was tied with chains, a gag sitting in his mouth as he sat somewhat defeated. Once again, you had no idea why he was there, but this time it wasn't your fault. While the rest of Kenny's Squad had been told everything, you'd been told the bare minimum, and it appeared that everyone had been ordered to tell you nothing more. So you pitied the poor boy, and you watched as he struggled every so often. 

"Up there," Traute explained, pointing to a wooden balcony resting on one of the pillars. A bald man was already standing there, alert, while the other members of the Anti-Personnel Control Squad separated across the cave. Nodding, you shot upwards (catching the man off-guard) and waited for the blonde woman to follow. Kenny was wandering around at the bottom, clearly waiting for something to happen, and you knew from the tension in the air that there was going to be a fight sooner or later. Traute was giving some sort of speech to the rest of the group, but as per usual, you zoned out, staring at the man down below as he walked around confidently. 

Heart racing against your chest, you then turned your head towards the door, your eyes pinned on the easy-to-break wood. If that door even slightly moved, you'd be on your way to kill whoever entered in fear of losing your own life.

You heard the discussion between Historia, a blonde girl the group had kidnapped days before, and you were going to ignore it...

Until the brunette started screaming. 

Eyes wide, you went to cover your ears sub-consciously, but Traute stared you down, and instead, you had to listen to it, heart crushed as you tried to make it seem as if you weren't affected in the slightest. 

**BANG!!**

The door burst open, and Traute grabbed your arm to hide you behind the pillar, fearing you'd be too dumbstruck to move.

However, instead of people, three barrels rolled down the steps and your heart sunk. It appeared that nobody else had clocked on, but you knew those were bombs. Traute looked on in confusion, her eyebrows furrowed, and you were about to tell her but... it was too late. 

A group of people stormed in, and a brunette girl held a bow and fire arrow in her hands. The bombs were shot, and they exploded. The effect, however, wasn't the whole building falling to pieces, but instead, it was a mass of thick, grey smoke blocking your view. 

Two black-haired people shot through, and your eyes widened when Kenny's Squad all started to attack. It wasn't as if this was your first battle; you'd been in many in the underground, but you'd been warned multiple times that this group was powerful, and there was a high, high risk of death. 

Your breath got stuck in your throat as you shot away from the pillar, two guns in your hands, and weaved through the smoke. With your acute sense of hearing, you could fight with your eyes shut if you wanted to, so while the smoke screens badly affected the others, you'd easily weave your way around. 

It seemed that the only people around you were members of your own squad, but when you heard a choking sound from your left, you knew someone was near. 

"Shoot 'em down!" someone on your own team yelled, and you glanced up to see a short boy with little-to-no hair flying towards you all, his eyes filled with fear. It was clear he wasn't used to killing people, and you almost felt bad for him. Shooting downwards, you managed to dodge his attacks, watching as he managed to kill the previous guy. You aimed your gun at him and shot, but he managed to dodge it just barely. 

"Thirty-five enemies!" their captain yelled, and you furrowed your eyebrows. Something about his voice sounded... familiar, but you couldn't pinpoint what it was. It wasn't as if you knew any of the enemies, because surely Kenny would've told you. Right..? "They're gathered behind the pillars! Continue the plan, and we'll take them all out right here!"

Your eyes widened, and you could see the black-haired man flying around pillars with excellent skill, murdering two of your teammates in less than five seconds. And, if it wasn't for you hearing the small whizzing sound and your quick reflexes, you would've been shot by one of those burning hot arrows. Caught by surprise, you noticed the same brunette girl shooting them, her aim on point while she positioned towards you again. 

Falling backward, you went towards another, older woman, her glasses perched on her nose as she zoomed around. It appeared she was really enjoying herself, and you would've laughed if you weren't so nervous. She was also incredibly skilled, and you watched as she made eye contact with you. 

Shit.

"Y/n, shift," a man from behind said, anger in his tone as he shot past you. Clearly, he hadn't caught onto your hesitation, and he was almost sliced in half by the woman when he went for the attack. Using her distraction as an escape route, you shot behind one of the smoke screens, using their tactics to your advantage and listening out for her movements. You aimed your gun at where you thought she was, but you didn't shoot. 

Curiously, however, it appeared she'd gone to look for someone else, as you heard her shoot away. 

"The hell's with that girl?!" you heard one of your teammates say from behind, and you turned your head to see the black-haired girl from earlier going on almost a frenzy, murdering at least five of your squad in one go. And she was coming towards you. 

Aiming upwards, you shot up one of the pillars, almost knocking into Kenny as he watched on in some sort of sick amusement. Although, the light in his eyes had vanished, and it looked like he was going to join in.

Traute was being chased by both the black-haired people, those two clearly being the strongest of the opposing squad, and Kenny sighed. 

"You're comin' with me," he said, grabbing your arm and pointing to Traute. "We're killing those bastards."

"O-okay," you stammered, somewhat surprised he trusted you this much. Then again, you were one of the more skilled of his squad, so it was only smart to let you go after the stronger opponents with him.

"YAHOO!" Kenny yelled, shooting towards the other man and catching him off-guard. You followed, going underneath and trying to shoot him. However, the man dodged and you missed, almost getting a dagger to the face. "So be it, guess we'll have to play."

The grey-eyed man glared at the two of you before shooting around a pillar, avoiding both your shots when you tried to get him. Embarrassingly, guns were not your preferred tool, and you would've much rather have had the swords the other team had. However, this would have to do, and you directed your gun at him again, ready to pull the trigger. 

"Not sick of playing yet?" Kenny grumbled, obviously agitated as the shorter of the two men managed to avoid every single hit. He was insanely talented, not managing to even suffer a single scrape yet while killing at least a quarter of your team alone. "Good grief."

The three of you shot forwards, but when Kenny hid behind a pillar, leaving just you and the other guy, your eyes widened in fear. 

"Go get 'im, Y/n!" he yelled, and that was when your opponent's whole face changed. It went from one of determination to utter surprise, and his mouth was agape. Confused but using his emotions to your advantage, you went to shoot him, but you then heard Kenny. He'd caused one of the wooden balconies to collapse, stray planks falling on the two of you as you tried to avoid being clobbered. "Over here, dimwit!"

You turned to see Kenny taunting the man, and, after giving you one last look, the guy finally regained his composure and missed being stabbed by Kenny. Although, because he was distracted so much, he ended up with a slice on his left cheek and threw a bottle of something towards the two of you. Kenny shot it without hesitation, and you rushed away, only just avoiding the explosion. 

God, Kenny could be way too reckless at times.

Then, the man managed to shoot through the blast and sliced into Kenny's abdomen, and you gasped in surprise by accident. You aimed your gun towards the villain, about to shoot, but then he yelled your name, his hands and feet digging into one of the pillars.

"Y/n!" he shouted, and you froze, almost smacking straight into one of the opposite columns. Yeah, he'd just heard your name from Kenny, but it genuinely sounded as if he... knew you. And you recognised his tone too. Although it was deeper than what you remembered and much more monotone, it still had the same hint. "It's me, Levi, you dipshit!"

Levi...

Levi.

"Levi!" you exclaimed, your heart pounding against your chest when you finally realised who this was.

The boy behind your door. The one you used to speak to when you were a kid, and you couldn't hide the smile on your face when you connected the dots. The one who was two years older than you, had black hair, and was strong. It'd been fifteen years, but you could never ever forget his voice.

However, he then noticed that Kenny had shot off, and when the two of you heard a feminine yell, you looked down to see one of his teammates harshly slammed into one of the pillars, and her head was bleeding as she hit the floor. Levi's eyes turned to fear, and he glanced up at you, unsure what to do.

"HANJI!" one of the boys yelled, and you glanced over to Traute, who was ordering for everyone to go back to their defensive points.

But... you were conflicted. You didn't want to fight anymore, especially since your childhood friend was on the other side, and now, you had no idea what to believe. THIS was why Kenny's squad had been hiding everything from you, and you were filled with a wave of anger you'd never felt before. 

"Y/n, are you stupid? Get back to your defense point," one of the men snarled, and without hesitation, you shot him. The entire room went silent as your supposed teammate fell to the floor, dead instantly, and you stared in horror at what you'd done. You almost vomited, and your chest heaved as you eventually looked back at Levi, who wasn't moving. Nobody knew what to do, and you could see Kenny's cold stare from across the room. 

"Y/n..." Traute finally said, and you gulped. However, the silence didn't last long. Levi shot towards you and grabbed your body, almost flinging you over his shoulder, and went back to THEIR defense point, which was behind the door. Traute was taken by surprise, but she didn't do anything to stop it. Clearly, you were an enemy to your own team now, as you'd just murdered one of them, and if it were for Levi, you'd definitely be dead. 

Although, not everyone was pleased with this.

"TRAITOR!" you heard a male voice scream, and you heard a loud bang. Someone from your old team had shot one of the spare wooden balconies, probably hoping to kill Levi in the process, but he was able to dodge. Although... it was clear he'd almost forgotten you were over his shoulder because one of the pieces he was able to avoid ended up hitting you on the head.

Knocking you out cold.


	3. - waking up

A small crack of sunlight slipped in between a pair of curtains, and that was what woke you up. Blinking slowly, you adjusted your eyes to the gentle light of the room, illuminated by the slit of sun and a set of three half-burnt candles on the table beside your bed. Rubbing your eyes and massaging the back of your neck, you sat up, wondering where the hell you were. This certainly wasn't your normal bedroom, and because you were able to see the sky, it was clear you weren't still in the Underground. This would've surprised you if you weren't so dazed. 

"Hello?" you muttered into the empty room, and you began to notice odd things that didn't belong to anyone you knew. 

The apartment was strangely spotless, with a large bookshelf lining the walls and a deep green sofa sitting beside it. A desk with a glass of water, a china tea set, and the candles mentioned before was placed at the foot of the bed, and a large wardrobe was sat on the opposite wall. A second door further down the apartment must've led to a bathroom, while the main one seemed to be locked (the key was sticking out of it). A dark green cloak, one you'd never seen before, lay folded on one of the sofa arms, and a pair of large, black boots lay by the main door. 

Nobody was around, leaving you alone in someone's bedroom. 

Slowly but surely, you slipped your legs over the side of the bed, only to notice that you were still in the same clothes from before. You couldn't remember what you'd been doing, since your head was absolutely throbbing from whatever had happened, and being asleep with really uncomfortable clothes on didn't help. 

"Hello?!" you repeated, a little louder this time when you noticed that the bathroom door was locked, but from the inside. Your heart raced against your chest, and you looked for the best thing to use as a weapon. Which was, unfortunately, not a lot, and you were sure the owner of the apartment wouldn't appreciate you using their teapot as a weapon. "Anyone there?"

Suddenly, the bathroom door swung open, and you squeaked a little as someone walked out. And when you saw the man's face, your memories came flooding back.

However long it'd been, whether it'd been a few hours or a few days, you didn't know, but you knew that this man had saved you. During the Chapel incident, you'd learned this man's name and, in shock, accidentally shot one of your teammates. It appeared that the group also didn't know where you were because they certainly were not here.

"You're awake," Levi said, and you almost broke down. Your legs went weak and your knees almost collapsed as your heart raced against your chest. You were feeling faint, not because this man was scary or anything but because of who it was. Your only friend as a child was finally in front of you, but you were also angry. Furious even, because he'd left you. But surely... surely he had an explanation. "Y/n?"

Looking up, you went pink when you realised you actually HAD fallen to your knees. Your entire body was shaken up, and the man knelt down in front of you, his eyes unreadable but certainly filled with concern. If this truly was the person you thought he was (and you were almost a hundred percent certain), then this was the first time you'd seen him face to face.

Despite knowing each other for almost ten years in the past.

"Get up," he said, and you furrowed your eyebrows as you pushed yourself onto your feet, feeling a little dizzy but other than that, alright. Levi led you back to the bed and let you sit down, before brushing his fingers through your hair. You would've pushed him away if you weren't so startled, but then his fingers lightly tapped over something, and you winced. "A bump's formed on your head from that wood falling on your head. Sorry about that."

"It's fine," you muttered, recalling your final moments before being knocked out. "I should be thankful. If it wasn't for you, I think the group would've killed me."

"Yeah, shooting one of your teammates isn't the best look," Levi stated, and you glared at him. However, his expression had softened a ton since your name had been revealed to him, and he almost looked... sad? You wanted to touch his face, mainly to take in every detail of him before going back to the Underground, but there was no way he'd let you. "You're... definitely Y/n, right?"

"Mhm," you answered softly, pulling your legs up to your chest as you avoided eye contact. "And you're... Levi."

"Yeah," he replied, and a soft smile appeared on your face.

"I've finally met you," you answered, and he cocked his head. "I didn't think I would ever hear from you again. It's been... fifteen years, y'know."

"It's been that long, huh?" Levi muttered, looking down at his hands and gulping. He hadn't noticed that it'd been that long, but he knew he'd missed you. For years, you'd been his only friend, despite the two of you never seeing each other face to face, and leaving you alone with Kenny was heart-breaking. He always regretted never going back to try and save you, but after finding out that Kenny moved away from his regular hut, he gave up. "I didn't realise."

"I counted the days for a while," you sighed, standing up and stretching, the atmosphere becoming really, really sad. Your heart rate slowed back to normal once again, and as much as you wanted to scream and cry at him for leaving you, you didn't have the guts to do so. Well, you weren't really that type of person, and it was _Levi._ No matter what he did, you just couldn't get mad at him. "I got up to day 2789 and gave up counting. There was no point because it finally sunk in that you wouldn't come back."

Levi was silent. Guilt piled up more and more in his stomach, and as much as he wanted to look at you to admire his friend he never met, he couldn't. His eyes lowered to the floor, and he'd known for years that he'd failed you. But he'd never been able to admit to it. Hell, he hadn't even said your name since he left, even to Isabel and Farlan. Cursing quietly, he stood up and opened his mouth to apologise, to try and explain why he'd left, but you continued.

"For a few, selfish years, I'd hoped something bad had happened, because I never wanted to admit that it was my fault," you whispered, feeling tears prickle in your eyes as you quickly wiped them away. "Eventually I accepted the fact that you probably got bored of me. After all, I never did anything interesting. Who wants a friend that they can't even see? A-and you were really strong. Of course, you'd want to go out into the world to do things more exciting. Hell, here you are on the surface. Why would you sacrifice that opportunity to stay with someone like me?"

You were ignoring a lot of vital factors. Kenny hadn't spoken about Levi ever since he'd left, and now he was wanting to kill the shorter man. Clearly, the older did not like Levi anymore, but it wasn't really clicking in your head that it COULD'VE been that. With low self-esteem and an inferiority complex, why would you blame anyone else when it felt better to only blame you?

"Y/n," Levi eventually said, placing a hand on your shoulder. You flinched at the contact, and you turned your head to face him. His black hair shaded his pretty yet devastated grey eyes, and it seemed like he was trying his best to look at you without cracking. "Nothing was ever your fault. If I was gonna blame you or hated you in some way, I would've killed you two days ago. I wouldn't have bought you back here, and you know that. Now please, shut up for one second so I can explain."

Shutting your mouth, you nodded and gulped, sitting back down and watching as he struggled to string out a set of words that would make sense. His mind was whirring at a million miles per hour, and he didn't want to accidentally upset you. It was clear from the way you held yourself and the way you spoke that your self-confidence was frighteningly low, and if Kenny wasn't dead already, he would've killed him just for that. Levi needed to come up with a plan to get you back to your confident self, or at least the one he was used to. 

"When I was fifteen, Kenny abandoned me," he finally explained, and your eyes widened. You now felt extremely bad about blaming him at first, and you went to apologise but couldn't, as Levi put a finger up to shush you. "I was left in the streets for years and years, trying to find my way back but unable to. Kenny moved his hideout and took you with him, and I have no idea why he only left me on the streets and not us both. I don't know why the hell you're blaming yourself but don't. Because if it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I didn't go looking for you, and gave up after one try."

"No," you whispered, trying not to cry as your hands shook. Your fists balled up as you rubbed your eyes, and a small hiccup left your lips. Levi looked down at you, and his heart shattered once again. He knew you were trying out every scenario in your head, trying to push any faults onto yourself instead of him, just like you always did when you were little, and he took your hands away from your eyes. They were watery, and he squeezed your palms gently to comfort you. "P-lease don't th-think it's your fault."

Levi sat beside you and placed a hand on your cheek, something he never did with anybody. He wasn't exactly sure why he was being so touchy with you, but maybe it was because of your history. All he'd wanted to do as a kid was to see you and your face, and now that he could, he didn't want to see you cry. 

"Tch, don't you get it?" he asked, and you looked up at him. "It's Kenny's fault. He hurt you so many times and locked you away and just expected you to live a normal life after all that. Nothing you think you did is any of your fault. Some of it's mine for not coming back to find you, but most of it is Kenny's, and that's a fact."

You nodded softly, and a smile appeared on your face again as you wiped away your tears. Levi's heart skipped a beat, and inside, he was delighted to see his old friend happy again. Well, he was just happy to see what you looked like, because now he could tell how you felt without having to decipher different tones in your voice. You were an expert at that, whereas he was trash at it. And you were... surprisingly pretty, especially for someone who was locked away and stuck in the underground for over twenty-five years.

"Anyway, now we've got past... that," he said, standing up. You watched as he wandered over to the teapot, and he poured out some water. "Before you got up, I brewed some tea. Although it's lukewarm now because you ended up crying on me."

You chuckled at his reaction, glad his unknowingly-rude demeanor hadn't disappeared from when he was a child. He was certainly different, which was something you'd expected since he'd gone from a teenager to an adult, but there were certain things that hadn't. It crushed you that his tone had become more emotionless, but he seemed more protective and mature. Plus, you hadn't exactly expected him to look the way he did. He had rather sharp facial features and grey eyes that either looked dull or bright, depending on how he felt. Bags sat underneath them, indicating he hadn't slept much, yet his face was strangely youthful for his age. His black hair sat in an undercut curtain, and he was more attractive than you'd been expecting. 

Levi passed you one of the china cups and watched as you drunk it. Your hands were still trembling, and he wondered if it was a medical condition or you were just terrified. He also didn't want you to drop his cup and was prepared to catch it if you did.

"So, how long have you been up here for?" you asked eventually, and he shrugged.

"About six or seven years," he admitted, sipping from his own cup and strolling up and down the room. "You?"

"Only a couple months," you whispered, and Levi raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know the sky was so pretty."

"Yeah," he said bluntly, casting a glance through the now-open curtains. It was about 11pm, and although he'd already eaten breakfast, you hadn't. You weren't complaining though, and although you didn't seem too malnourished, he knew you needed to get some lunch. "Me neither."

"What you been up to?" you asked, taking a genuine interest in his life like you did when you were little. A small smile appeared on his lips as he connected what you said to your childhood, and he hummed.

"Have you heard of the Survey Corps?" he questioned, and you nodded, thinking you knew what it meant. Although you'd never seen a titan or knew much about them, you'd heard OF them, and knew they were horrific monsters and you were all on the brink of death every second. You'd never actually seen the walls protecting the rest of humanity, and you glanced curiously out of the window to just see a glimpse of the grey stone. "Well, I'm one of them. I have my own squad, and you saw them during the fight two days ago."

"Wow, they're really strong then," you said in awe, and he agreed. "They seem cool."

"I guess so," he replied quietly, and you were amused at his answer. "I don't really like being a Survey Corp. It's not really... the best thing in the world."

"Then why don't you leave?"

"I can't," he answered, and you furrowed your eyebrows. "I'm Humanity's Strongest Soldier."

"You're kidding!" you exclaimed in surprise, almost knocking your teacup off the desk. He was surprised by your outburst, and you stared at him with eyes wider than the letter 'O'. "That's amazing!"

"Thanks, but not really," he said, and you cocked your head. "A lot of people trust me to save humanity, and it's a lot of pressure. Every time someone dies out there, it feels like I've let them down."

Levi had no idea why he was venting to you. It felt like he'd only met you two days ago when in reality you'd met when he was only six, and when you were kids, he ranted to you all the time about things he never even thought he could get off his chest. And here he was, fifteen years later, doing it again. But this time, it was directly in front of you, and he was relieved to see a non-judgemental face staring back at him.

"But you should know deep down that it's not your fault, right?" you assured him, and he nodded. "Good. And... I don't think it's that people put trust in you to SAVE humanity, it's probably more like they've got someone to rely on if things go wrong because you're capable. I mean, from what you've said, that's how I see it."

"Well, that gives me SOME sort of comfort, I guess," he mumbled under his breath as he drunk, and you laughed at his response. 

A few minutes passed while the two of you finished your drinks, and you were left in a strange yet comfortable silence. This whole experience still felt surreal, and your heart was pounding against your ribcage like a drum. You weren't sure whether you felt scared, excited, nervous, or all of the above, and you had no idea what was going to happen in the future. As happy as you were to see Levi again, you really didn't want to mess up his life by being in it or distract him from what he was meant to do. You gulped down your nerves and tried to stop your hands from shaking, but it was nearing impossible to do. 

Levi glanced over, his eyes occasionally flicking over to make sure you were alright, and he wondered what to do next. He didn't want to send you back to the Underground, because if someone had somehow miraculously survived the destruction of the Reiss' Chapel and if there were more people from Kenny's Squad, they'd all be out to get you. Even though what you'd done was a total accident, he didn't want to risk your life by sending you back down there. Although he highly doubted you had anywhere to call home anyway.

So, it looked like you were going to be stuck with him for a while.


End file.
